Don't Worry, Wedding's Still On!

Look at me! I'm a nurse! This is the photo I had taken for the composite of all my classmates and myself.

I have been incredibly busy since my last update! School is crazy. Whoever said this semester would be easy was high as a kite.
So far, only one dress has yet to be ordered, and the tuxes are taken care of. We started our premarital counselling, and that has been fun and beneficial. It helps to work with a pastor who knows you so well, and to have great examples of family dynamics.
That's something that has been on my mind recently. I just completed my mental health clinical rotation. I spoke with many people who live in environments which are anything but nurturing. Broken relationships, physical abuse, rape, absolutely no encouragement; it was heart-breaking.
I always knew I was blessed to have grown up with both my parents still married and still happy, not to mention both sets of grandparents still married and still happy. I was raised in a loving environment with encouragement and good education, with a strong faith and spirituality as the foundation. I had healthy discipline (spanking, but no beating) and an open and honest relationship with my parents. I knew this was good, but I never saw firsthand how not having these things can negatively impact someone's life. It made me feel incredibly blessed to have the family, friends, and faith which have permeated my life with love.

Quickie...

I have my first clinical of the semester tomorrow, so this will have to be fast.
I LOVED my practicum over break! I got to see so many babies be born; I even got to coach a woman through pushing during contractions. It was awesome.
Christmas was wonderful, especially all the time with family. Sadness struck Ben's side with the passing of his grandmother and the family dog, though. While Grandma's faith is a comfort, she will be sorely missed.
Ben and I have registered at two of the three places where we intend to be registered. We got our tuxes figured out for the wedding. Only one dress has yet to be shipped. And now I'm stuck in the dorms, away from my love. I can't wait to graduate.

End of Life

This post isn't going to be philosophical or anything; I'm just in End of Life Care class right now.

It is interesting, though to talk to people who aren't in my classes. In the program, we find abbreviations for everything, or just our own specific way of saying things.

Friend: What are you doing this weekend?

Me: I need to study for my Complex exam.

Friend: I thought all your exams were complex, you keep talking about how hard they are.

Me: My exam for Complex Care class.

Friend: Oh.

Sometimes, people think nursing sounds scary. Scarier than it really is, anyway.

Friend: What are all the notes for?

Me: End of Life final exam.

Friend: I thought Sunday school taught us we couldn't study for that ahead of time.

Me: Not that one. Perhaps just as intimidating, though.

Just so you know that I'm not just a slacker, let me assure you that I'm not missing vital information. We have been doing student presentations, and none of the information is on exams. I can hear what is being said, and I am logging away the information. But this is the last class before the weekend and before finals, and I'm allowing myself some therapeutic blogging.

Tensions have been rising in the dorms. Maybe not with everyone, but I've been feeling it. There is one particular student in my class who has been annoying almost everyone, but most people get to go home at the end of the day. This student (who has been previously mentioned) lives next door and comes to visit quite frequently. We have been "getting along" lately, but that is because I have become a pro at remaining in my room or being somewhere else entirely. Do I like having to take these measures? No. But I don't want to say something I'll regret. You really have to watch what you say to this girl. I'm just glad I can blog to a world of people who have no idea who she is. Her reputation can remain untarnished, but I can vent my frustration.

Christmas is just around the corner. I still need to get some presents, but I think Ben will be helping a bit. I also need to finish knitting scarves for my mom- and sis-in-law-to-be. Lord knows I haven't had time lately.

With the vacation approaching, I am very excited to be beginning my clinical practicum. Not only because I love gaining experience, but also because I have mine in labor & delivery, NICU, and the nursery. Birth and babies. I'm in heaven.

And I think we're about to take lunch, so I shall bid you all adieu.

(Photo is from Thanksgiving with our families, but no one would gather at one time...)

My Time Machine Works!

So, I had a crappy day yesterday. I found out a girl in my class was deliberately holding a grudge against me for a misunderstanding that happened a month ago. And someone to whom I had vented my frustration had told her after telling me it would be kept in confidence. I hadn't realized we had all taken a trip back 9 years to junior high. Hopefully, it will all blow over. I've apologized, and that's all I can do.

On a much lighter note, we think we have found the song we want sung at our wedding. It's called "Dancing in the Minefields" by Andrew Peterson. We would start it at verse two, so here's what would be sung:

"I Do" are the two most famous last words,
The beginning of the end.
But to lose your life for another, I've heard,
Is a good place to begin.
'Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down,
And I believe that's an easy price
For the life that we have found.

And we're dancing in the minefields,
And we're sailing in the storms.
This is harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the Promise is for.
That's what the Promise is for.

So, when I lose my way, find me.
When I loose love's chains, bind me.
At the end of all my faith, till the end of all my days,
When I forget my name, remind me.

We bear the light of the Son of Man,
So there's nothing left to fear.
So, I'll walk with you in the shadowlands
Till the shadows disappear.
'Cause He promised not to leave us,
And His promises are true,
So, in the midst of all this chaos,
Baby, I can dance with you.

So, let's go dancing in the minefields.
Let's go sailing in the storms.
Oh, let's go dancing in the minefields,
And kicking down the door.
Let's go dancing in the minefields,
Let's go sailing in the storms.
This is harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the Promise is for.
That's what the Promise is for.

So, that's what we're thinking for now. We had another Andrew Peterson song in mind, but we would have had to do some rewrites, rather than just leaving out the first verse. Andrew Peterson writes amazing songs, but some of the best are very personal. The other song was "For the Love of God," and the part I want mentioned in the sermon at our wedding is as follows:

Love is not a feeling in your chest.
It is bending down to wash another's feet.
It is faithful when the sun is in the west
And in the east.

It can hurt you as it holds you
In its overwhelming flood
Till only the unshakeable is left.
"This new command I give you," He said,
"Love as I have loved."
So, brother, love her better than yourself,
And give her your heart,

For the Love of God,
In the name of Jesus,
The Groom Who gave His life
To love His bride.

My mom and I were talking about the fact that we could probably have an Andrew Peterson themed wedding. He's just so poetic.

Anyway, wedding plans are coming along fine. I picked up my dress a few weeks ago, and we start our premarital counseling next month.

I just have to make it through finals. Which is why I'm going to go do homework now.

My Personal Philosophy of Nursing

We had to do this for my senior integrative seminar, and I thought I'd go ahead and post it here (especially since part of our assignment was to find these online and bring them to class as examples).

Nursing is more than a career to me; it is a ministry. As a nurse, I will care for people when they are at some of the most vulnerable times of their lives. I will work with the interdisciplinary team to fight against whatever illness the patients have, and will treat the entire person each patient is. I will push to heal a person rather than merely cure an illness. I believe a nurse’s purpose is to serve our patients and meet as many of their needs as we can. I will respect life in general and the lives of each of my patients, honoring their rights and dignity. I am a nurse so that I can care for people, to help them cope with difficult times in their lives and the lives of their family members. I want to help people, and I feel nursing is one of the best ways a person can do that.
The concept of nursing can be broken down into three domains: person, health, and environment. I believe that, as a nurse, I should treat the whole person of my patient. This includes physical, psychological, spiritual, and emotional needs. I believe that meeting as many of these needs as possible leads to a higher quality of life for the patient. I believe that health is not merely the absence of disease, but having a healthy lifestyle, strong support system, limited stress factors, good coping skills, and many other factors. The domain of environment refers to everything surrounding the patients. Hospitals ought to be warm and welcoming, not only through décor, but also through the people within them. I believe that nurses help to create the environment around each patient. This helps meet some of the different kinds of needs of the patients and thereby helps improve their overall health.
While working in the professional setting, I intend to mature and learn by following the examples of the nurses around me who I respect, both in the workplace and in my family. I also plan to continue my education. I believe that nurses always ought to be learning, because nursing is an ever-changing world. I will do my best to know about changes in medical advancement and in organizations and regulations.
I believe nurses need to have a strong sense of community. I feel this applies to a few different areas. As a nurse, I will be aware of how community affects health and educate my family and patients accordingly. I will also strive never to take for granted my nursing community. I believe that we need to surround each other with support and encouragement. I also believe that nurses need to be connected to their non-nursing community, their neighbors and friends. Nursing is a huge part of who I am, but I do not believe it should ever be the only aspect.
As a professional nurse, I hope to be considered responsible, comforting, and dependable. I hope to establish a method for using the computer to chart that saves time so I can care properly for my patient. My overall goal is always to incorporate compassion, conscience, competence, confidence, and commitment into my daily life.

It's not perfect, and some of it sounds cheesy, but it's how I feel. I hope some nursing student in the future finds this helpful.

I'm Not Even Bridezilla Yet...

One of my attendants is a classmate of mine in the nursing program. We've known each other since we came to college, fall 2007. We've had our differences, but at the end of last year, we seemed to have worked past any difficulties and I thought we were really good friends.

Well, now that I've asked her to be part of Ben's and my wedding, she's sort of been acting like a beezy. She's snippy about every little thing and she acts as though everything I do is utterly offensive. I have taken to avoiding her whenever I'm feeling particularly sarcastic so I don't accidentally say something that will upset her.

Every so often, she smiles at me or does something very friendly or kind, but then she goes back to barely talking to me. And if I try to do something nice for her, she thanks me and then acts as if I shouldn't have done anything.

I hope this is all just stress from this semester, because I don't want her attitude at my wedding. That's a day solely reserved for MY attitude. ;)

OH! And we should be getting our engagement photos soon from our photographer, Jess Simorte! The photo on this post is a sneak peek she posted on my Facebook so I could get a little taste of what Ben and I would be seeing.

Some Things I've Realized

My primary form of exercise is walking up and down flights of stairs to print off papers and handouts.

When my fiancé comes to visit, he spends a lot of time "with me" watching football while I do my homework.

I scheduled our premarital counseling to begin when my most hectic semester ends.

I leave my OB clinicals texting my fiancé that I want a baby.

Since I've been too busy to work more than 4 hours a week, I'm constantly looking for school or community events that offer me free food, especially if I can take my fiancé to these events.

Because school has made me emotional and somewhat crazy, I'm hesitant to start a birth control regimen before the wedding because it could make it worse.

I'm treating my pediatrics class as a parenting class and making mental notes about diseases and conditions our children are more likely to develop.


In short, my upcoming marriage is determining my school life, and my school life is determining my upcoming marriage.